Thursday, July 24, 2014

Change, change, and more change...

Change has a way of making me nostalgic for the past because I find comfort in what I already know.  The unknown is freaky and unpredictable.  Sure, I believe in the benefits of change and learning from my failures and moving forward in the unknown.  I also have faith.  But, being merely human...I just sometimes forget these things, and then change seems to have a way of sucker-punching me in the gut.  And change has a way of happening in the "when it rains, it pours" kind of fashion.  Good or bad, expected or unexpected, natural or unnatural...it's still change.  Maybe it will come as a surprise to you, but I don't really like change.  Adjusting to new things, for me, takes time and lots of processing to get to the other side of it.  It seems to be a season of change for several people in my life. And, the word on the street is that things are always going to keep changing.

Change is a chameleon.  It takes on so many forms.  Some exciting and natural, like my return to work, or my son moving on to middle school.  Some monumental, like turning 40 and watching incredible and deserved people retire.  But, the ones I struggle with the most have a theme.  For me, it all boils down to loss, mourning those losses, and trying figure out the new path to move forward.  Loss creates voids and those voids force me to change in order to heal.  And, as I have said...change is really hard for me.   So, there you have it.  Profound?  No.  Just trying to navigate the obvious...even though "the obvious" plays games and dances around you like a super ninja laughing at you because you can't see it coming.  I figure stating the obvious has it's time and place...because sometimes, it is needed.  So, I'll pull up my big girl pants and continue to push forward.  One change at a time...